May 16, 2008
I am not a very social person. I have always been quiet in crowds and slow to warm up to people. Now, don’t get me wrong–once I warm up you can’t quiet me. I am a wild woman.
For instance, I moved to the STL area in 8th grade. I knew no one, and though some lovely girls befriended my painfully shy little self, I still barely talked at school. EVER. Then, these lovely friends threw a birthday party-SLUMBER PARTY. Even my painfully shy self (then and now) can’t resist the sugar and all-nightering for a slumber party–so that wild self came out. I can still remember the yearbook entries claiming they thought I never spoke until that slumber party–and now they knew I was not mute.
I am better than my 8th grade self, for the most part, but I think it’s because I stick with “the known” and very rarely branch out. Occasionally, my old high school/college friends get together. Occasionally, R. and I will meet another couple for a casual dinner or a Cards game. That is the extent of my socialization. It’s comfortable, I like it, and I rarely have to meet more than one new person.
But, not tonight. Tonight, I am going to a trivia night with a table full of of R.’s coworkers and R.’s Coworker’s wives. I know one couple, but have never met the other two. It all sounds very foreign and adult. Things my PARENTS do–not me. I am not nervous about the trivia, because Lord knows I will blow everyone away with my amazing skills of completely useless knowledge (woo!). But, I am nervous about the social part of it. The interacting with a group of people–adult people–and acting like I’ve got my shit together when, let’s face it, I don’t! That part freaks me out a little.
Also, I don’t know what to wear. Fashion was never my strong suit either.
May 17, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Amen! I’m the same way. It’s that line about it being better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Every adult I know feels like they’re play acting at some point.
I remember going to my first meeting in London - I think I was 25. I went with a colleague who was 39 and when I told her how I felt she said that she still felt like she was acting too.
Some just hide it better than others.
I hope the night goes well and you’re able to have fun.
May 18, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I think that’s very true–it’s a nerve that never really goes away, you just figure out how to hide/ignore it.
May 19, 2008 at 5:36 am
How did it go?
I always hated meeing new people because you have to. Engaging in awkward conversation because you are obligated to. Its really only the luck of the draw … sometimes you end up meeting some really cool freaking people and other times its just the same Chit chat yipper yapper to get through the night.
Ahhhhh, socialization.
May 19, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I know what you mean. But think of it this way, maybe you’ll bond over trivia knowledge and make some new friends! that’s the other difficult part of being grown-up; it seems impossible to meet new people to hang out with.
hope it went well!