100th Post

This is my 100th post.  Woo.  That’s pretty good for a blog that started just over 3 months ago.  Thinking of my 100th post brought to mind kindergarten and how we celebrated the 100th day of school, you know?  Counting 100 Cheerios and marshmallows and doing all sorts of hundredsy things.

So, I tried to come up with something along the same lines.  I thought I could take pictures of things in hundreds (like the hundreds of snowflakes that are supposed to descend in hours—crossing my fingers for a snow day tomorrow—or the hundreds of skittles in the 56 ounce bag my Mom bought me at Costco).  I thought about doing 100 things, or posting 100 times on the 100th day.  Perhaps listening to 100 songs and listing them for you.  I could eat those 100 skittles and blog each bite.  I even thought of giving out one hundred hugs, but I hate to hug, even people I know. So many options—and yet, I settled for the most boring one.

You’re hereby invited to the 100th post edition of 100 things about me!

1.    My name is Nicole
2.    My birthday is in April, meaning my birthstone is diamond and I am a Taurus.
3.    I live in Missouri
4.    I have lived in 4 states (Missouri, Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska)
5.    My favorite candy is tropical punch Now & Laters
6.    I do not like potatoes (unless they are French fried)
7.    Clowns scare the bejeezus out of me.
8.    I grow vegetables (tomatoes and peppers last summer)
9.    When I was a baby, I enjoyed baby food carrots and sweet potatoes so much that I began to tint orange.
10.    In my 25 (almost 26) years, I have lived in roughly 20 different houses/apartments.
11.    I like to tell people that.
12.    On my first day of 8th grade in a new school, I had to sit in ISS because my old school did not forward my shot records.  I sat in that empty room, crying and trying to read The Sun Also Rises. My Mom later told me she brought my records at 9am—yet I sat there ALL DAY.  I will never forgive that school.
13.    When R. first asked me out—I was totally clueless and invited all of our coworkers on our “date.”  A mutual friend had to explain to me that he was actually asking me out on a date.
14.    I used to be obsessed with the show Friends.  I wore Central Perk and that picture of them eating ice cream T-shirts.  In high school.  It is no wonder that I never had a date.
15.    My favorite book of all time is Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver.  It saved my soul.
16.    Speaking of books, I love romance novels—but only those by Nora Roberts.
17.    Speaking of romance novels, I’ve written four completed romance novels and self-published them.
18.    However, I cannot write a sex scene to save my life.
19.    Therefore, I do not send them in to real publishers.
20.    NaNoWriMo ’02 was the first time I’d actually ever finished one of my novels.
21.    I love chocolate cupcakes.
22.    I wish I could go on Jeopardy (I promise I would not tell a lame story!)
23.    My Friends knowledge severely scares my future in-laws.
24.    When I was in elementary school, I named my bike Lightening and pretended he was a horse as I rode through the neighborhood without a helmet.
25.    I played with Barbies… until 7th grade.
26.    For 2 or 3 months, I came home and watched the animated Anastasia every day after school.  I was in high school.  This may also explain the no-date thing.
27.    My Grandpa owns an airport for antique planes.
28.    He also has a dog cemetery around his house.  (One dog has its own stone).
29.    Violas are my favorite flower.
30.    Sweet Valley High was a large writing influence.
31.    I had the Saved by The Bell board game.  It was as awesome as you might imagine.
32.    I also had the Sweet Valley High board game, also awesome.  I was always Elizabeth.
33.    I once pushed my sister into a wall, causing her to crack part of her head open and required a small amount of stitches.  Oops.
34.    I kind of used to be in love with Harrison Ford.  Luckily, I am over it.
35.    Ditto David Schwimmer.
36.    I could watch Band of Brothers over and over and over and over.
37.    The coolest place I’ve ever been is Hawaii.
38.    I have never left the U.S
39.    I have never broken a bone (knock on wood).
40.    I believe in God.
41.    I do not go to church.
42.    I am letting my Mom plan about 95% of my wedding—because I hate planning things.
43.    I used to sell drunk people beer because I was afraid of their reaction otherwise.
44.    I don’t hate cops.
45.    My senior year of high school I was involved in a club called Youth in Government.  I was a lobbyist and managed to kill a pro-gun bill.
46.    I was then voted most likely to beat up the kid with the pro-gun bill.
47.    I currently (and probably for the majority of my future) live with a gun in the apartment/house.  (Because I live with a cop).
48.    I don’t go 24 hours without a pop.
49.    When I moved to St. Louis, I promised myself I would never call pop soda—I’m about a ½ and ½ -er now.  Sometimes it’s pop—sometimes soda.
50.    I stole 2 books from Truman’s library—I still got my diploma.
51.    When I was in 5th grade, I was determined I would become the first woman major league baseball player—apparently you have to practice a lot and be good, though.
52.    I have a Bo Hart jersey (you are awesome if you know who he is).
53.    I wish I had a Joe McEwing jersey.
54.    I hate Tony Larussa
55.    When I worked at a state park with R. I would bring goldfish everyday in my lunch.  One day, my Mom bought Garfield shaped goldfish.  I took them in my lunch, but didn’t like them.  R. said I was crazy, they were the same thing.  Four years later, R. still brings this up.  I like to think it’s what made me irresistible to him.
56.    When I was in middle school, my sister and I used to watch Oklahoma! Constantly and try to do the “Kansas City” dance.
57.    We also made a “American Gladiator” type obstacle course in our basement and pretended to be on the show.
58.    In 7th grade, I was on the middle school basketball team.  At the end of our season, the morning announcements went through our point stats.  I was last.  Nicole: 1.  Technically, I had made both free throws, but I stepped over the line voiding the second.
59.    My best friend in elementary school and middle school ate grass and sucked on rocks.
60.    She also got me to read Elf Quest (If you know what that is… I’m a little scared).
61.    On my 22nd birthday, a guy followed me and my friends home from the bars and took his pants off in our yard.  He started banging his head on our door and I had to call the cops.  It was the best night ever.
62.    I almost choked to death on a starlight mint… twice.  I coughed it out once in a grocery store parking lot, the other time my aunt had to give me the Heimlich.
63.    For my sixteenth birthday, I asked for (and got) a kerosene lamp.
64.    I would often light it in my room and imagine I was a pioneer.
65.    I used to write historical fiction (romance).
66.    I used to collect unicorns—a collection my Grandma started me on and I haven’t added to since she died.
67.    She also gave me most of her santa collection, which I continue to add to.
68.    My greatest ambition for my future (aside from having kids) is to own a barn.
69.    And grow enough fruits and vegetables to live off of.
70.    As much as I want to go local and organic—I don’t recycle.  (Will in the new house though!)
71.    The most relaxing vacation I ever had was Hilton Head.
72.    I failed my permit test the first time I took it.
73.    I hate hockey.
74.    I hate James Joyce—spawn of Satan
75.    I still hold a grudge against the professor who gave me a B in Contemporary Lit even though I got an A on every assignment.
76.    I have seen every episode of more shows than I can count—Friends, Caroline in the City, Brady Bunch, Petticoat Junction, Hogan’s Heroes, Ed, Early Edition and so on…
77.    I would stalk Kyle Chandler without any qualms.
78.    I own three CDs that are made up solely of Civil War music.
79.    I worked as a waitress for 3 weeks—those were possibly the most miserable 3 weeks ever.
80.    I am a Democrat
81.     If Clinton gets the nod, I’ll vote for her.  It might kill my Grandfather.
82.    In the 2000 election, I originally voted for Al Gore but the ticket thing didn’t work.  I took it as a sign and voted for Ralph Nader.
83.    I hate giving out D’s and F’s—even to students I dislike.
84.    I am always cold.
85.    A perfect Saturday is lying in bed, under the covers, watching bad TV or old movies.
86.    My favorite meal is roast beef and green beans a la my Mom.
87.    My favorite color is purple.
88.    I hate getting my picture taken because the minute a camera is near my neck seems to go into weird convulsions so I look gross.
89.    I haven’t had my hair professionally cut in 2 years.
90.    A teacher, like a parent, is not supposed to have favorites, but I do.  Sometimes I worry I make it very clear.
91.    Overachievers bother the hell out of me.
92.    People who claim to be overachievers bother me even more.
93.    I yell at people when I drive.  And curse.  A lot.
94.    I love Jimmy Stewart.
95.    I am terrible at video games.
96.    I hate calling people on the phone.
97.    Today, I am wearing a sort of brown and black plaid pair of paints and grey striped socks with black shoes.  I look atrocious.  My students laugh
98.    I drive on empty as long as possible because I hate pumping gas.
99.    My favorite alcoholic beverage is a Long Island Iced Tea.
100.    I spent almost my entire lunch break on this.

 

Dear Student

Dear Attitude-Problem Student,

I get it.  You don’t like the assignment.  The angry sighs and rolling of eyes were a pretty big clue.  When you snatched the paper off my desk because I said you weren’t quite there yet, yeah, I think I “get it.”  You don’t like this assignment or me by extension.  I’m okay with that.

I apologize for my lack of concern or sympathy.  Might I suggest putting forth an effort?  Or, perhaps, looking at the mistakes you’ve made and try to learn from them.  Or even, God forbid, ask questions!  You see turning in the same exact thing over and over and hoping it will produce a different result doesn’t exactly work.  In fact, I believe that’s a definition of insanity.

I would also like to point out that I am the giver of the grade.  And, while you earn the majority of your grade, there are areas where a teacher might “bump” a student up, if the appropriate effort and attitude are evident.  Eye rolling, sighing, stomping, and other temper-tantrums do not fall within that “appropriate” category.

Sincerely,

Ms. ____________

 

I Miss You

There are certain things I miss about my pre-teacher life.  Mainly, sleeping in and watching daytime television, but those don’t both me on a consistent basis like these do.

First of all, the time and inclination to read.  I used to read ALL the time.  ALL THE TIME.  Books were my sustenance and nothing was better than curling up with one and staying up all night finishing it.  Right now, I don’t have time, but even when I have time–like over Christmas break, I can’t bring myself to do it very often.  I don’t know if it’s teaching or R. who has somehow changed me into someone who doesn’t feel like they’re doing something unless they are moving.  So, every time I sit to read I am instead thinking about all the other things I should be doing.  It’s hard to sit and enjoy, and it’s even harder to pick up new books because I don’t have time to waste on bad ones.

Which is the same exact reason I no longer write very often.  Writing used to be the salve that soothed the savage beast.  I used to get lost in worlds I created, or put important information in coherent sentences.  I seem to have lost the inclination and the talent for this.  In trying to find some examples for class, I was looking through some of my old academic writing.  I miss it.  I miss thinking and analyzing and all that went along with being an English major.  I thought being an English teacher would be an extension of that, but it’s not–at least not with the group of students I’ve had this year.

So, I am actually a little bit excited about the class I am taking this semester.  I have to write part of my thesis (EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT HAVE TO WRITE A THESIS TO GET MY MASTERS).  I am a little irritated that it will basically be a waste, but it will feel good to write again with a purpose and an analytical mind.  Oh, will it feel good.

 

You Know You’re A Teacher When…

You get to your class (in which you are a student) early with the specific purpose of grading papers.  As you get out your red pen and your stack of papers, you look around and realize 75% of your class has done the same thing– high school teachers with their red pens, elementary school teachers with their stickers and colorful markers, and middle school teachers drooling (because teaching middle school makes you do that).

 

Things That Make a Teacher Go: WHAT THE *$&%!

The first homework assignments are trickling in.  Even more so than last semester, I am amazed at the atrocious spelling skills.

• deminstrats (demonstrates)
• rize (rise)
• strugals (struggles)
• rapped (raped) –we have even gone over simple phonics.
•  amotion (emotion)
• now (know)
• “didnt rily teach him a hole lowt”
• biest (biased)
• semputhetick (Sympathetic, my personal favorite).

I might be okay with the first few if, say, these were 6th graders.  Maybe.  But I teach college credit classes to SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL.  Seniors preparing to leave for college in 8 months.  Seniors who have gotten into GOOD schools and can’t spell a GOSH DARN.  It floors me.  A typo is one thing, just plan not being able to spell is a complete other.

Is the computer age to blame?  I was always a decent speller.  I enjoyed those spelling words every week and the consequent test that followed.  In 5th grade, I was in a spelling bee (felled on the word opposite and some major stage fright).  I had a word processor my first two years of high school, and then we got a computer.  So, I suppose I did grow up needing to know how to spell and these students have grown up never really needing to.  And yet…

I can’t quite blame spell check for this disaster because students spell so bad they can’t even USE spell check and don’t even know how to use spell check.  (I can’t count the amount of times that defiantly is used in place of definitely merely because either students are too lazy to pay attention or seriously do NOT KNOW how to spell anything).

These kids don’t even know basic PHONICS rules and I have to fault some bump in our educational system that has let students become this way.   18 year olds should know no from know from now.  17 year olds should be able to know the difference between rapped and raped.  I’m not sure that’s a symptom of the computer age–spell check doesn’t catch that mistake.

I am so close to implementing spelling tests.  Or spell check usage lessons.  Something–anything–to knock some sense into these kids.

 

The Best Christmas Break

When I was in 8th grade, we moved from a Chicago suburb to a St. Louis suburb.  The whole of our five years in Chicago, we only missed school for extreme cold–never for snow or ice or any other precipitation.  It just didn’t happen.  When we moved to St. Louis, people said snow was rare (Looking back, I wonder who these people were).  Apparently, St. Louis was supposed to be a tropical climate.

My sister got RISK and the “Bye, Bye Birdie” (TV version with Vanessa Williams and no one else I remember) soundtrack for Christmas.  We did our usual rounds of trips to Iowa for Christmases at the different grandparents.  We ate lots, racked up more toys, and got to play with puppies.  It was a wonderful Christmas–as every one was through my high school years.

Around New Years–the day before school would resume, we got snow.  Days of snow.  Inches upon inches of snow.  It was a Winter Wonderlan, indeed.  And, for the following 3 or 4 days, school was canceled–extending our Christmas break.  I’m sure my mother was as thrilled as we were.

For these 3 days, my sister and I began a routine.  Sled all morning, come in for a lunch of Campbell’s (box) chicken noodle soup, and play an hours long marathon of RISK, usually followed by at least an hour more of sledding.  I should mention that it wasn’t exactly “sledding.”  There is a small “hill” or incline from the neighbor’s house to my parents.  I think hills would be a bit offended if I called this minuscule rise such.   We’d trudge the 10 (maybe) steps to the top, then slide the 1 second ride down.

I’m not sure why we found such endless enjoyment doing such.  I was 13 and my sister 11.  But, we did.  We tried to “surf” down the hill, or use PAM to make the sleds go faster.  We tried making bumps and twists, and in the end we spent the better part of our day out there instead of stuffed inside a classroom.

The games of RISK were intense as we are both incredibly sore losers.  And the chicken noodle soup always tasted like a rich delicacy to our frozen bodies.

It was the best Christmas break, ever.

Now, 12 years later, I am stuffed inside a classroom behind a desk–so far no students have shown up (it’s an early release day and if students have perfect attendance they don’t have to come, so no one comes, and gee it’s fun to sit in an empty classroom just in case a student pops up).  And I am eagerly awaiting 12 o’clock when I will be set free from the chains of school for 13 luxurious days.  I doubt sledding will be involved, but I may talk R. into a game of RISK and a lunch of soup after our pre-construction meeting on the house.  Priorities and responsibilities may change, but Christmas break will always make me feel a bit like a kid again.

 

Snow-Snow-Snow

It snowed! And it’s supposed to keep on snowing. Something about snow always soothes me. It’s a calming blanket over an over-stimulated world.

I’m officially half way through grading papers. Everyone’s kind comments on my last post helped me kind of take a deep breath and regain that perspective of just getting through these papers, adding up the grades these students have earned and accepting whatever that outcome might be. I can only do so much.

I see hot chocolate and cookie baking in my future–and maybe even a romp in the snow tomorrow.

Three cheers for snow!

 

Doubts

I suppose many teachers–especially first year teachers–begin to feel this way at this time of year.  Overwhelmed, disappointed, wondering how they will ever get through another semester.  I suppose it is a mix of grading, students, and stress that begins these thoughts.   And, today, I am in the midst of all these doubts.

I know I haven’t always been the best teacher.  I know there are skills that I never found a way to teach properly.  I know I have students who will walk away having gained very little.  That knowledge is weighing me down.  As I grade paper after paper of writing that shows no growth in skill from the beginning of the semester until now, I wonder if I even know how to teach at all.  I wonder how they can possibly allow me to teach another semester–let alone another year.

I think of all the ways I’ve failed my students (often ignoring the way they’ve failed me) and beat myself up for things I could have–should have done better.  And I am wondering why I chose this profession and is it really the right fit.

I know that most of this is just normal doubt and normal stress building up.  It’s not just the teaching that’s getting me down but the wedding and the house buying are adding a nice layer or varying types of stress, and I have never been one who has dealt well with stress.  Still the feelings of doubt and fear for the rest of my career linger.  Will I ever get it right?  Will life ever give me a chance to catch up?

And in the midst of this, one of my students just lost their father.  She is a sweet girl, a hard worker, and I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s going through.  I can’t imagine losing my father now as an adult, let alone at 18 when that scary new world is out there staring you in the face.  I have never felt the urge to hug one of my students until today.  I wanted to comfort, but did not know how.   And even though I can’t shake my own doubts and stresses and worries, my thoughts and prayers are with her and her family today.

 

“Poor, Alex”. <–pet peeve

To avoid being tacky, we are skipping Lame Jeopardy Story Thursday. If you haven’t heard, Alex Trebek had a minor heart attack the other day, so it doesn’t seem quite right to poke fun. They will return next week with even lamer stories than you ever could have imagined!

Also, did I mention the grading? My brain is fried (so fried I originally typed ‘friend’). I have students thinking Hanukkah is a celebration of Jesus and, despite me lecturing on it several times, continuing to put punctuation OUTSIDE THE QUOTATION MARKS. If I ever got a tattoo, it would say “Punctuation Goes Outside the Quotation Marks, Foolz”

 

Paper Topics Thus Far…

80s. vs. 90s

american vs. foreign cars

biofuels (2)

softball v. baseball

death penalty, all right!

abortion… maybe yes, maybe no.

sex education

xbox 360 v. ps3 or whatever the playstation thing is called

standardized testing (bad!)

time travel–it is not possible (really!)

Jews vs. Nazis

It’s quite the broad range of topics–some good/some bad (xbox one surprisingly good minus not following MLA format at all).

Still, my brain is turning to mush already.