Wednesday, October 24th, 2007


Or just one.

And, it’s not really “good.”

Basically, I was tooling about the internet this afternoon and saw a few posts on random blogs about people having certain “themes” associated with certain days. I thought, “hm, interesting idea. I should do that! But what would my theme be?” And so it went and so I thought, “nah, I’ll never stick to it.”

3:30 come rollin’ around and I’m watching Jeopardy, and it comes to the horrendous part where the contestants tell their little “story.” When I was in college I labeled these the “I walked down the street and died” stories. They are always hideously boring and mind numbingly idiotic. Wow, you have a cockatiel that say’s pretty monkey!  Congratu-fucking-lations.

Wow, I guess I had a lot of pent-up anger about these Jeopardy stories!

Back to the point, I think in November I am going to theme one day, “Jeopardy Walk Down the Street and Die” stories, or “Hideously Boring Adventures in Nothingness” or maybe even just “Lame Jeopardy Story” Day! Nothing is better than telliing a really bad story when you’ve run out of interesting things to blog about!

So, who wants to join me?

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When you live with a cop, as I do, you tend to have to get used to their paranoia.  Maybe not every cop is like this, but it makes sense to me as they see a lot of the shit this world has to offer.  Why wouldn’t they be paranoid?  I have my own things I am paranoid about (leaving the blinds open EVER–thanks for that one, Mom!), but locking the door is not one of them.  While I do lock my door, and it has become a habit, it is not something that I need to check more than once, unlike someone.  I have better things to think about, like making chocolate chip muffins or plugging in my computer.

You are probably thinking this has to do with locking the door–not so!  I did, in fact, lock my door last night.  I even checked on it before going to bed.  But, as I was pulling the covers up–I heard a knock at the door.  At first, I wasn’t even going to go out there because R. was out of town and I wasn’t going to deal with someone at 10pm.  But, something compelled me to go forth and see.  Such bravery!
A non-threatening woman was on the other side, and I thought maybe she was a neighbor ready to yell at me for… something?  Instead, she merely pointed to my lock and said, “your keys are in the door.”

“Oh, thanks.”

I pull the ice cold keys from their roost in the lock and close the door, realizing they have been in there for approximately SEVEN hours–because I get home at 3 and it is now 10.  That’s SEVEN hours in which someone could have a) taken my car (b) entered the apartment or (c) taken my keys just to fuck with me.

I am SO SO SO glad R. was not home–and that he will never know, because I believe I would be put under house arrest.

If you found this little anecdote boring, I just want to add– and then I found five dollars!  Cool, huh?