When you live with a cop, as I do, you tend to have to get used to their paranoia.  Maybe not every cop is like this, but it makes sense to me as they see a lot of the shit this world has to offer.  Why wouldn’t they be paranoid?  I have my own things I am paranoid about (leaving the blinds open EVER–thanks for that one, Mom!), but locking the door is not one of them.  While I do lock my door, and it has become a habit, it is not something that I need to check more than once, unlike someone.  I have better things to think about, like making chocolate chip muffins or plugging in my computer.

You are probably thinking this has to do with locking the door–not so!  I did, in fact, lock my door last night.  I even checked on it before going to bed.  But, as I was pulling the covers up–I heard a knock at the door.  At first, I wasn’t even going to go out there because R. was out of town and I wasn’t going to deal with someone at 10pm.  But, something compelled me to go forth and see.  Such bravery!
A non-threatening woman was on the other side, and I thought maybe she was a neighbor ready to yell at me for… something?  Instead, she merely pointed to my lock and said, “your keys are in the door.”

“Oh, thanks.”

I pull the ice cold keys from their roost in the lock and close the door, realizing they have been in there for approximately SEVEN hours–because I get home at 3 and it is now 10.  That’s SEVEN hours in which someone could have a) taken my car (b) entered the apartment or (c) taken my keys just to fuck with me.

I am SO SO SO glad R. was not home–and that he will never know, because I believe I would be put under house arrest.

If you found this little anecdote boring, I just want to add– and then I found five dollars!  Cool, huh?