Remember how last week I was all paranoid about something going wrong amidst all this good?  Yeah, this is along these same lines.

In a sense, I love to organize.  I’m not a clean person in the sense that I wash dishes immediately or vacuum every day (or even week), but in the sense I like things to have a particular place, a particular order.  However much I like organization though, it is paired with my arch-nemesis: long-term project.

I am no good at long term projects.  I never have been and I can’t imagine I ever will be.  After a week or two of regular work outs I get bored and go back to my slothful ways.  I hit the middle of a novel and I am stumped and can’t go further.  I get the grand idea we’ll do a load of dishes each night, and pick up… two days later the apartment is again a disaster.  I decide to organize the closet and half way through I have lost interest and leave a bigger mess than I started with.  It just doesn’t work.

So, as I sit at my desk eating my lunch knowing I am 95% planned through this week’s classes, I keep worrying when my long-term organization and be-on-top-of-it-ness will dissolve.  It often sneaks up on you… one day I don’t need to make my lunch or one day when we forget to do the dishes, then the slippery slope into doing nothing is upon us before we even know it.

But when you’re teaching full time, trying to get a home loan processed with a freaker-outer (R.), moving in 2 months, getting married in 3, and taking a class on top of it–you have to be organized.  I can’t let this thing fall apart this time.  I have to hold onto it with all that I’ve got.   One of the best ways I can do that is write about it, keep it fresh in my mind, remember that I have to do it.  No excuses this time.

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