I often wonder if the producers of Jeopardy ask the contestants to think up the most boring, mundane, inane stories to tell the audience.  To me, that can be the only explanation.  Surely, people are not this vapidly boring.  Surely not every contestant is the most stereotypical nerd you could possibly put into three dimensions.

Now, let’s say you’ve won ten days in a row.  Then, maybe then, you start with the inane stories.  THEN I could understand because–hey–I am not sure I could come up with ten interesting little anecdotes about myself.  But, it seems to me, on your first trip to Jeopardy you should not be telling stories of how your “girlfriend” is a “gazelle fan” and has a lot of “gazelle memorabilia” and so in New York you bought a life-sized impala and carried it through the subway and bus back to home in Boston.  Surely, SURELY, you have done something of more interest.  Surely, you have written a thesis or grown a flower or watched Jeopardy since you were in diapers.  Maybe you conducted an interesting experiment or did some important research.  Maybe you wrote a book or a poem or went to the World Series.  Maybe you did ANYTHING more interesting than carry a stuffed gazelle around New York City.  I’ve never been to NYC, but I doubt that’s out of the ordinary.