In the past few weeks I’ve been feeling apathetic about this blog.  Minus the whole weird gazelle explosion, my readership is way down and my content hasn’t been too great either (connection?).  I have been struggling and wondering and pondering and have yet to come up with any solutions.  I begin to think–maybe I should just pack it all in and start a new blog elsewhere.  This pings back and forth in my head–Yes, it would be a fresh start and you would get fresh material.  –No, you need to stick with what you’ve got.

My brain usually sides with the no side… for a while.  But, I’m at about the 6 month mark with this blog, and that’s always when my blogging fingers get itchy.  Over the past 3 years, I have had about 5 blogs.  And, I always get to this point where I don’t know what to write, no one is reading anyway, so why bother–let’s start something new.

This time around, I am determined to stick it through.  A new blog space is not the answer to the age old problem.  I think sticking around is the answer.  I just have to reevaluate and rethink the current space.

Right now that reevaluating has everything to do with finding cohesion.  As a “personal” blogger, I struggle to find a cohesiveness with what I write about.  When I first started this blog, I figured my cohesive hook would be the time in my life–that bumpy struggle into adulthood.  But, believe it or not, adulthood is a pretty damn big topic.  So big that it’s really just me yapping about my rather boring life.  I have always been and will always be boring–and I like it that way.  But, whatever personality I have oftentimes seems to miss the mark in terms of translating into blog life.

And, I think the hardest part is that it’s not about how many readers or comments I have.  It’s not about what other people want to hear, it’s a blog for ME.  And that means I have to figure out what ME wants and who ME is and then translate it into my own personal style–I don’t think I’m there yet.

In the end, I’m not complaining about my stats or who does or does not read.  I am thinking, pondering, assessing–and for me, the best way to do that is write.  I’m going to be experimenting with some change around here–some noticeable/some not.  And in the process, I’m trying to figure out what this blog is and what it means to me and why I feel so compelled to do it.