I find myself writing in run-on sentences.  There is no stopping point to contain my whirlwind.

I find myself thinking much like a four year old tells a story.  Breathless, excitable, “And then we did this and this and this happened and oh yah this and, and, and.”

This is not me.  The furious working, the flurry of cleaning, the not sitting down until bedtime.  I don’t know this woman.  Me?  I waste hours laying on the couch in front of the TV telling myself to do something and inevitably failing.  I put off everything until the very last minute, just because–not due to being busy.  Me, I know how to relax, stop, sit, and smell the roses.

But, someone has taken over.  I go-go-go until there is no going left.  I spend all of 10 minutes a day sitting leisurely.   I take initiative and plan things.  I am a leader, a doer, a tell-er.

I do not know this woman who has taken over.  She is everything I never thought I would be.  She is everything I never liked!  And yet…

At the end of the day I feel accomplished.  At the end of the day I am so tired I fall asleep without hours of tossing and turning.  At the end of the day I know I have done the best I could, and I am that much closer to having an empty list… like the real me.

I keep waiting for that moment, but the list keeps growing.

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