Follow Me Into the Unknown

Well, the big changes are here!  Well, not really here. They’re actually: here!

I went ahead and bought myself a domain name.  I did this for a couple reasons.  It’s nothing fancy or expensive (The money I make at Associated Content for just having articles covers the expense), but it allows me to grow, experiment, and work with something new.

You’ll notice all posts, comments, etc.. were transferred over.  The design is different (and will probably change a lot between now and future), but it’s the same old blog, just a bit of a makeover.

If you follow me on a reader type deal, please update your links:  http://almostkindasorta.com!

 

Adult Socialization

I am not a very social person.  I have always been quiet in crowds and slow to warm up to people.  Now, don’t get me wrong–once I warm up you can’t quiet me.  I am a wild woman.

For instance, I moved to the STL area in 8th grade.  I knew no one, and though some lovely girls befriended my painfully shy little self, I still barely talked at school.  EVER.  Then, these lovely friends threw a birthday party-SLUMBER PARTY.  Even my painfully shy self (then and now) can’t resist the sugar and all-nightering for a slumber party–so that wild self came out.  I can still remember the yearbook entries claiming they thought I never spoke until that slumber party–and now they knew I was not mute.

I am better than my 8th grade self, for the most part, but I think it’s because I stick with “the known” and very rarely branch out.  Occasionally, my old high school/college friends get together.  Occasionally, R. and I will meet another couple for a casual dinner or a Cards game.  That is the extent of my socialization.  It’s comfortable, I like it, and I rarely have to meet more than one new person.

But, not tonight.  Tonight, I am going to a trivia night with a table full of of R.’s coworkers and R.’s Coworker’s wives.  I know one couple, but have never met the other two.  It all sounds very foreign and adult.  Things my PARENTS do–not me.  I am not nervous about the trivia, because Lord knows I will blow everyone away with my amazing skills of completely useless knowledge (woo!).  But, I am nervous about the social part of it.  The interacting with a group of people–adult people–and acting like I’ve got my shit together when, let’s face it, I don’t!  That part freaks me out a little.

Also, I don’t know what to wear.  Fashion was never my strong suit either.

 

Weather/Baseball Ponderings

Perhaps Jason Isringhausen just doesn’t like the rain?

Because, honestly, I couldn’t blame him if that was the case.  If I have to look out at the sea of mud that is my “yard” for another weak I am going to SCREAM.

The joy of new construction home ownership is that so much is left up to the weather.  Due to the cold and snow of this winter, we were set back 3 weeks on our closing.  Now, due to Missouri’s lovely penchant for rain, a month into homeownership and I still don’t have sod.  We were told we would need a week of no rain for them to even begin to think about it.

It feels like I only have half a home–because going outside means sidewalk/driveway and nothing more.  Thank God we don’t have dogs or kids running around, because I would seriously go nuts

And holy shit, Jim Edmonds is a Cub.

 

Input/Output

I want to take a moment to thank everyone for all the comments left on the last post.  It gave me a lot to think about and consider!  I’m working on some changes, but nothing too major and I’ll keep you updated.

In the meantime, I am still recovering from the Cards game last night.  2 beers and not getting home until past midnight basically knocked me on my butt.  Lordy, am I old.

Luckily, tonight is Wednesday night which means terrible reality show marathon.

 

Contemplating Change

It’s about the 6 month mark of this blog.  Traditionally, I start to get itchy staying in one place.  Either it’s a loss of focus, or a change of focus, or just a need to move on.  That itch is here, though it’s a different itch than usual.

My usual experience is to ditch the old blog, start a completely new one from scratch with zero readership.  I don’t want to do that this time.  I like this blog, I like what I am writing about, and I like that there’s a few people who comment on my blog encouragingly, wonderfully–and whose blogs I like to frequent in return.  I don’t want to run away from that, I like that.

But, I am not totally satisfied with the WordPress experience.  I LOVE the design and the layout, which is why I am contemplating staying.  But, it is difficult to add things that I would like to add.  I spent about 3 days trying to figure out how to get my twitters on here.  I signed up for Google Adsense only to find out that I can’t put ads on a wordpress blog.  I have yet to figure out how to put a button/badge/etc on here.

I’ve done Blogger before, and I love it’s ease of use for me because I don’t get web design at all.  However, I am not totally down with the aesthetics of Blogger.  Also, there are many features of WordPress (like their stats and dashboard page) that I find way better than Blogger.

Then, I begin to wonder if this is just that 6 month itch and if adsense is really necessary and if those buttons would only clutter my space, man.

So, I am going back and forth.  Trying decide what are the things I want most out of my blog.  Looking into different things.

And I guess the reason I am posting this is because I am looking for advice/suggestions/help/ideas on how to proceed.

 

NaBlo-Fail-Oh

WordPress locked me out last night–my own fault as I waited until about 11:45 to try and post.  So, May NaBlo is lost.

Meanwhile, we had big winds last night and shingles fell off our roof and R. is flipping his shit.  I prefer to wait to flip my shit until we find out if the builder will do anything about it.  We have different approaches to worrying, and so we’re annoying each other with our own ways of worrying.

This is the first time I really had to stop myself and say… we’re married now and I need to change my approach.  Instead of getting mad at how he worries about little things that nothing can be done about at that moment in time, I have to take a different approach.  I don’t know what that approach is… but I can’t keep bull-headedly go my own way and take no prisoners.  I need to reassess… to COMPROMISE.

And then he told me I was stressing him out–and that is why men die earlier than women, because wives stress their husbands out.

Compromise my ass.  He’s going down.

 

Hope for the Day

This is how little hope I have for this day: I brought a 1 pound bag of skittles as part of my lunch. FOR ME ONLY.

In completely unrelated news, THIS is a post that gets viewed every day. I had no idea that baseball attire was something that SO MANY needed guidance on. Most searches that bring people here are what TO wear to a baseball game, but I think my what NOT to wear aids in that decision. Who knew I was so informative.

(Blame May NaBloPoMo for this post).

 

Teaching Tip

I had my student’s submit questions they wanted to answer in our test answer writing unit.  Somebody suggested describing their worst day and how it affected them.  Sounded good–so it was one of the choices.

NEVER ASK ABOUT A STUDENT’S worst day.  If you are anything like me, you will cry as you read the answers.

 

Who Is This Person

I find myself writing in run-on sentences.  There is no stopping point to contain my whirlwind.

I find myself thinking much like a four year old tells a story.  Breathless, excitable, “And then we did this and this and this happened and oh yah this and, and, and.”

This is not me.  The furious working, the flurry of cleaning, the not sitting down until bedtime.  I don’t know this woman.  Me?  I waste hours laying on the couch in front of the TV telling myself to do something and inevitably failing.  I put off everything until the very last minute, just because–not due to being busy.  Me, I know how to relax, stop, sit, and smell the roses.

But, someone has taken over.  I go-go-go until there is no going left.  I spend all of 10 minutes a day sitting leisurely.   I take initiative and plan things.  I am a leader, a doer, a tell-er.

I do not know this woman who has taken over.  She is everything I never thought I would be.  She is everything I never liked!  And yet…

At the end of the day I feel accomplished.  At the end of the day I am so tired I fall asleep without hours of tossing and turning.  At the end of the day I know I have done the best I could, and I am that much closer to having an empty list… like the real me.

I keep waiting for that moment, but the list keeps growing.

 

Light At the End of the Tunnel

I can finally start to feel SOME things calming down.  I still have loads to do, but I feel like the end is in sight:

1. Thesis is due tonight!!!  Can’t wait to cross that one off my list.

2. 10 page papers are all graded.  I stayed up until midnight so I could get them accomplished.  I would be more excited, but another plagiarizer in the bunch.  He says to me, “Yah I probably should have cited more.”  OR, done your own damn work.

3. Wedding thank yous.  All that is left is to address the envelopes and buy a few more stamps.  I will be so glad not having that hanging over my head.

4. I got a new job, so no more searching!

5. Even the house, though there is still much to be unpacked, feels manageable.  I got a lot done last night, now just need to keep picking away at all the crap in the garage.

6. When I think about the grading left to do, I still get a little twitchy, but with less than two weeks left of seniors (who make up about 90% of my classes), I feel like I can make it.

There’s still a lot to do, but I’ve accomplished more than I would have ever in a million years thought possible at this time last year.  It’s a good feeling.